Fear of doing something new or different is no joke. I know for me most of the fear comes from not doing something right or not doing something perfect or not knowing what to do.
My podcast was put off for years because I was so afraid that I wouldn’t know how or what to do and what if it sounds terrible and what if nobody listens or cares?!
That fear of starting something new never really goes away until it’s done. Even after everything I’ve done, I still get that fear. I started an online business, I put my most vulnerable moments out there almost everyday -like this one. And sharing these stories are still scary sometimes.
And what’s worse than my fear of doing the damn things is my fear of asking for help. I’ve come a long long way, don’t get me wrong. I used to seriously believe I could do everything on my own. Now I know there’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know something and asking for help but sometimes it’s tough to admit.
I think it’s one of my best qualities that I’m so self driven and willing to try things on my own first and then from there make a decision to get help or not. But other times that best quality can get me into trouble because I put off asking for help until I find myself in a hole and absolutely. For example, I recently broke down before my last period. (There’s a story there too so make sure you listen to podcast episode 15 on Kier Here). But I ended up asking my boyfriend for his help.
Just to put things in perspective for you…. my boyfriend, Justin, is 13.5 years older than me. 13.5 years a lot of time to have learned new things so he not only has the age thing going for him, but he’s got the knowledge that comes with it. And, I have to say, the guy is flat out brilliant. I’m so attracted to his brain is not even funny.
I’ve always thought of myself as intelligent. I mean I was always in the honor roll in grade school, graduated with honors in college and always seemed to be the more well rounded than my previous boyfriends. Not this time. My boyfriend intimidates the shit out of me almost everyday…. in a very good way, let’s just get that straight. I love it because he pushes me to be better and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. He inspires me and I’m constantly asking him questions about marketing and business because that’s what he does for work and he’s really really good at it.
In fact, he’s really good a lot of things and way better than me at most things. Like he’s a better cook then me, he’s better with technology, politics, movies, reading, talking, socializing, everything. I love him and I’m a lucky girl for sure but there are times where the deep dark voices in my head are like “he’s better then you”, “you’re not good enough.” Now I know that’s not entirely true. There’s a a lot of things I’m really good at too. I know a relationship is not a game of who’s better at what …but if we’re playing then I’m way better at weight lifting than he is. Just saying!
Anyway… getting back on track here… Sometimes I feel really annoying when I ask him for help especially since he’s busy practically running the marketing team of a billion dollar company. When Justin suggested the idea to make video recipes to post on Instagram and YouTube, I was pretty excited but hesitant because I didn’t exactly know how to get started.
I think fear can come from thinking we have to know before we get taught.
With his idea, the recipe and the food is the easy part. I could come up with those for days. The hard part is setting up the camera, getting the right lighting and the angles, and I need a script and to do my hair and makeup and then oh my god how long is this going to take me to edit? I have so much on my plate with this podcast and my clients, how am I gonna manage another thing all by myself???
And so I had this fear and this hesitance about it. We talked about it some more and agreed that this weekend he was going to show me how he would do it with one of his recipes and then I could just use his camera set up and copy the format and do it with my own recipe. Amazing right? Sound so easy. Monkey see, monkey do.
He set everything up for his recipe which was banana bread. From the camera, to the lighting, to the set. And then he hit record, looking and sounding as natural as possible, and even if he make a mistake, he’d act like it was all part of the skit and roll with it. He finished in one try and I was so proud of him, it was so cool to watch from behind the scenes!
But I couldn’t stop thinking “there is no way in hell that mine would come out that perfect” I would need like 7 run through a before I got it right and by that time I’d run out of ingredients. So when he turned to me and said okay now its your turn, I kinda shut down and was like I can’t do that. It’s so overwhelming and I don’t know what I’m doing and what if I mess up?!
ALL THAT FEAR just came to the surface and stopped me dead in my tracks. I didn’t do my recipe that day because I let my fear get the best of me. And guess what? I felt awful about it. There I was, asking for help, he gave me help and I was still too scared to just try!
So the next day he was like come on, let’s try again but let’s do a different format where you don’t have to be on camera and you don’t have to talk! I liked that idea so much better but I still had this heavy resistance like I don’t know what I’m doing! He verbally guided me to push all the buttons and do all the things and would grab the camera when he needed to show me how but basically he just walked me through every little step because that’s exactly what I needed. I needed the entire thing to be broken down into pieces instead of just looking at the big picture. And when we finished I was like omg, that was it?! Okay! I can do that for sure! And within an hour and a half I had a fully finished and edited video to post for you guys!
So please check it out on my Instagram @funsized.nutrition. I’ve posted quite a few already and I’m happy to say I’ll be creating more now that I feel like I know what I’m doing! The very first one I did was protein puppy chow. You might know it as muddy buddies. All the recipes are also on my YouTube channel. They aren’t perfect, but I like them and the recipes are just so freaking simple. The series is call short and sweet. How on brand, right?
I’m so proud of myself for pushing past the fear and resistance because I definitely feel like I can do it now! I’m so glad that Justin gave me a little extra pushing to get past my fear and I’m so glad that I had that fear in the first place because if it weren’t for the fear, then I would have this amount of reward in the end.
In essence, what I’m trying to say here is that we will always have fear and resistance towards new things that we are unsure about and things we haven’t learned yet. That’s never going to really go away until you do the thing. But asking for help from someone who know what they are doing and who cares about your success, is a sure way to not only learn the thing, but to do it right the first time around rather than trying to do it all on your own and messing up several times and losing the confidence before you find the right one.
I think that’s exactly how my clients feel just before they hire me to coach them with nutrition and fitness. The whole thing seems overwhelming and scary and like there are so many moving parts — and there definitely is. But here’s the thing, I know that, and I know what it takes for me to learn things and feel confident in them and if you’re anything like me, you need the step by step customized guidance like I do!
I coach my clients exactly how I would want to be coached, with unlimited support, because life’s too short to be living in fear of what ifs. I’m here to help get you out of your comfort zone and get you into a new one that you’re proud of. If you’re curious about my one-on-one customized coaching program shoot me a message on instagram @funsized.nutrition.